Why picking yourself may be the hardest– and most recovery– point you’ll ever do
I utilized to think therapy was about ending up being likeable. You know, repairing whatever was “wrong” with me so people would certainly quit rolling their eyes when I walked into family members gatherings. Possibly if I just became much easier to digest, more palatable, much less … me.
It took years to understand I had it in reverse.
The Prison of People-Pleasing
Think About Maya (a compound of experiences I’ve observed)– she stands for many individuals I’ve encountered that sit in treatment sessions, shoulders curved internal like an enigma. Week after week, they talk about the exact same pattern: how they state yes when they mean no, just how they apologize for occupying room, exactly how they’ve refined the art of reducing themselves to fit other individuals’s convenience areas.
“I simply want everybody to manage,” they claim, session after session.
THE PEOPLE-PLEASING CYCLE:
Awkward situation develops
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"What will they believe?"
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Diminish yourself to fit their comfort
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Short-term "peace" (yet you feel even worse)
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Resentment builds inside
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Next situation: A lot more distressed
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REPEAT (however worse each time)